Beginner’s Guide | 3 Stages Growing Out Grey Hair

Why are you growing out grey hair? Let’s give you a little history why I grew out mine. Maybe you have a similar story. I started to go grey when I was 19. Over the years, I chose to dye my hair while I was newly married, having babies, etc. I did this to “look the part” of a younger mother and partly to avoid people asking me if I was my children’s grandma.

Dyeing my hair began earlier in my mid-twenties as a result of an innocent question when I was just 25. I was asked if my slightly younger brother at 6’4″ was my son. What do you say to that? My mouth performed a goldfish bubble-puffing motion with no words in response.

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What are reasons to grow out the grey:

• Got fed up with the cost and effort of covering up the roots. For me it became an every 2 week ordeal!
• My skin on my scalp started to become sensitized to the chemicals in dye.
• Over the years, I began to feel like I had finally “grown” up and had better self-confidence. Growing out the grey was a way / statement to owning and claiming that.
• The biggest reason is the high risk of breast cancer that runs in my family. Reducing the toxic load on the body is becoming more of a priority for me. Getting rid of the dark brown hair dye is a great way to lessening that toxic load.

How to get your mind on your side when growing out grey hair:

• First thing: discuss your plans out loud with those that care about you. It’s your hair and your decision and by letting them know what you are embarking on can help solidify your courage and gain support from those around you.
• Be prepared to face some surprising hidden beliefs about the perceived “consequences” of going grey that mysteriously show up out of no where in your mind.
• Be prepared for some pushback. The phrase, “It’ll make you look 20 years older!” will be heard.
• Positive note to remember: your natural grey hair color against your skin will complement your skin color and make it the focus. In the end, your eyes will take a front seat as well instead of the hair.
• It’s alright to admit: that you wonder if you will be attractive with grey hair, or if you will lose some of your identity or “youth” by going grey, or even be taken seriously anymore.
• There is a certain level of sadness or grief with this decision.
• Be of good cheer because as soon as you process some of the above doubts they are quickly followed by a certain level of release and confidence in yourself that far outweighs the doubt. A little bit of “grey hair don’t care” attitude will come out and you will own it like you mean it.

Tips for success in growing out grey hair

In the very beginning stage:

• Have the mental reminder that you are going to manage different stages of growing out the grey in different ways.
• When the roots were small, I parted my hair in strategic ways to lessen the visible areas and used eye shadow or root cover-up spray to disguise the those same areas. There were always certain ways that looked more Cruella DeVille then others so I used dark brown eye shadow at this stage and then Revlon root-cover spray occasionally.

During the middle stages:

• As the roots began to form the dreaded “skunk stripe” and no amount of strategic parting was going to cut it, I switched to half up-do’s to avoid parting the hair. Teasing the hair at the crown and gently pulling up into a blinging barette can help keep the intense distinction line from sneaking in there and giving you away completely. At this stage, everyone knows that you have hair with 2 colors going on. It’s not about covering it up anymore, but disguising and softening the distinction line.
• So the “skunk stripe” grew atrocious and is covering half my head. This is where a pixie cut started to look like a pretty good option. That is a great option at this time. I wanted to keep the hair as long as possible so I looked a styles that involved braids and “architectural” interest. Viking and steampunk hairdo’s always draw my attention therefore I incorporated faux-hawk up-do’s and boho braiding at this point to confuse the eye as to exact lines of grey demarcation.

Ending Phase:

• The grey was now 3/4 of the way and would be a great time to have a chin length haircut. At this point, I switched to light crocheted slouch hats and boho scarf/ turban wraps. These are things I had never ventured into before and quite enjoyed the new look.
• When my grey demarcation past the chin length, I cut off the old scruffy brown. Now to move forward completely free of the old orangy brown dyed ends. Feels liberating!

Other common ways to grow out the grey:

• The “tough it out and just do it”- this is what I did and am now on the other side and lived to tell the tale;)
• The total chop- let the grey get at least 2 inches and then look at men’s haircuts and go get it buzzed. Start afresh right away.
• Slow blend- when you would normally go to the salon and get a root touch-up, instead let your hairstylist “blend” the grey roots into the rest of your hair by putting strategic hi and low lights into the hair to soften the demarcation line. Go as needed through the growing out phase to keep the blending updated. Keep in mind that this will be a whole different budget item for you.
• Some choose to get their hair bleached out if their hair is quite a bit light grey to white. They want to keep the length. To do this, get the dyed hair lightened to match the grey instead of blending it in with highlights. Kind of a tricky tall order to get that right. No pressure on your hairstyle at all for this one-NOT! Expensive and dye intensive but can work if you have a really good colorist. Check out the vlog by Monique Parent who bleached and chopped or @thesilverlining_1970 on Instagram who did a full length bleach out.

Changing colors to go with the grey

• I now have “new” hair that I am getting to know. Different texture, color, thickness. Oh darn’, I have to get some products to experiment with that are formulated for grey hair. Oh, and I need to acquire slightly adjusted makeup and clothing colors. Twist my arm a little bit.
• Pops of color are great!
• Clothing colors: I have switched to charcoal grey and navy blue instead of wearing so much black, raspberry/cranberry instead of red, heather grey blue instead of cobalt, plum instead of grape purple for everyday wear. You can see what I mean below.
• Makeup: Eyeliner is a dark brown, charcoal grey, or deep olive now instead of very black. Lipstick is berry now instead of classic red.
• Hair serum: I have found that many products to help “shine” up grey hair are too heavy and greasy for my hair. This serum has been the most successful so far without the greasy effect.

Going forward…

• Yes, I will never be completely free of any and all doubts and temptation to go back and dye my hair. Those thoughts and urges are getting smaller and smaller and don’t bother me anymore.
• You will be surprised at how the grey complements your skin-tone so much better then the dye. Your skin will look healthier, which was the complete opposite of what I thought would happen.
• By embracing my true-self, I am helping others to have the courage to step out and let their true hair come through.
• Let the beauty of your natural hair shine forth. Defy the industry standard of what beauty is for you.
• Remember to keep your sense of humor! Life is too short and serious already so have some fun with this!

2 years later in the grey hair transition and it is now grown out!

If you enjoyed this article or have successfully made this journey yourself, please comment below. I would love to hear from you about your journey to grey! You may be interested in these articles of other journeys: