As graduation quickly looms for my teens, I find that I am faced with an identity crisis of sorts. For over 13 years, I have been a homeschool mom and that has been a daily snapshot of my life. Reading, math, transcripts, books, curriculum, projects, career paths, co-ops, field trips, character development–these topics have been the majority of my mindspace for a long time now. We have been blessed to be able to embark on this long voyage and now that it is nearing completion, I find that this voyage is arriving at a new port.
Surprise- You are Different Than When Your Started
Suddenly, there is a different person at the end of this journey than began it and it’s time to re-evaluate who this person is.
I know it’s hard to imagine but before children, moms usually worked and had a different chapter or “life”. Maybe a college career path, maybe right out of highschool, maybe a job that you were in for awhile. Children change your life and it’s the most amazing and wonderful change. Now, when you look in the mirror or take out boxes that have been packed away since B.C. (before children), you may find that you look different and no longer even have the same interests or hobbies. That quilt I was working on 18 years ago is no longer relevant to me.
Change is good but our knee jerk reaction is a slight flutter in the heart. Maybe you already have filled some of the gaps in preparation for graduation, but maybe you are just now contemplating who and what you are going to be in a year or two.
Identity in Christ
The deep core of me is still the same, I am a child of Christ. Therefore, my identity is not in any physical outward traits (because of course I’m not the same shape as I was) nor or in my hobby tastes. If I take a step back from frantically having 2000 tabs open at the same time figuring this out, I can be at peace and have joy because that identity in Christ has not changed and will always be the same– to be a servant of Him and a part of His purpose.
“I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.”
John 13:15-17 NIV
Now What?
In light of my actual identity, how should that guide my thoughts on the new journey coming up. My children will still be my children, just interacting in a different way. My mental space is suddenly freed up from the main topic from the last decade+. That space is now an open canvas.
First though, I need to pray. Just simply pray. Spend time in His word and listen for the new opportunity or whisper He gives me. Then, I need to ask my husband what he sees as a good idea and fit for me. He knows me better than anyone else on earth. Get some feedback from Him above and also him beside you. This is an exciting new chapter with endless possibilities.
- Maybe it’s time to explore that new job that He might be leading me to?
- Maybe it’s a new ministry or volunteer opportunity to fill?
- Maybe it’s a return to my profession?
- Maybe it’s a thoroughly re-organized home and space?
But, I need to keep in mind that what I do should be led from what He would have me do. This is a reminder to stop and catch myself checking my frantic open mental tabs with the peace of being His child first and foremost. I am still here on this earth so that means He has a reason for it.
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
Ephesians 2:10 ESV
Can you relate? Ideas to consider:
Some ideas that you may need to consider when thinking about what He would have you do:
- Are you being led to return to the same profession? Check the new requirements and see if you need to catch up on education.
- Do you need to return to the work field but He is leading you to do something else but don’t know where to start? Maybe you need to patch into your God given talents, skills, and interests by taking an evaluation such as the IDAK Discovery Guide, or the Gallup Clifton Strengths quiz to see the new you and jobs you may not have considered.
- Have you heard of the latest ministry or volunteer opportunity? Have you considered an option that you have never considered before? Even something as simple as lady’s tea / coffee get togethers or pitching in for the local AWANA.
- Have you considered using some of the skills learned from homeschooling for over a decade to teach classes? Maybe a co-op class or workshop. Or even a new school class in the local small school where you can teach under an umbrella teacher who has a teaching certificate. My friend leads the Junior Rock Club classes for kids.
- Got an artistic or STEM talent? Maybe you can teach a class at the local Maker Space for children or adults. Maybe start an Etsy or TeachersPayTeachers shop with your own art or printables you have made during those homeschool years that you created for your own children or home.
- Maybe you just want to take some time to rest for a bit? Take up a new hobby. Check your local art galleries for short classes or a local book club. Sometimes rest from one life project is what you need to be able to hear His direction for the new one.
- If you need to reconnect with your spouse, make a concerted effort to share an activity regularly with your spouse. Find a new activity together like golfing, fishing, paddleboarding, kayaking, hiking, camping, visiting coffee shops, dancing lessons. Join him in one of his favorites or pull up a chair out there and read or do your project while he is in the shop or working on the car. Make a conscious choice to put aside your thoughts and “stuff” and either converse with him or just be near him contentedly working on each of your individual projects in the same area. You may have time now to do a devotional series together or go to an adult Bible study at your church together.
Further Reading:
If you would like to delve into other people’s wisdom from the faith filled life of empty nest transitioning, Ruthie Gray has a book called Empty Nest Awakening that is a great option to look into. Even if your children will still be at home, it is an empty school nest so to speak.
